Are you ready to embark on the journey of finding a life partner in Islam? Navigating the path about, how to find a spouse in Islam, can be both exciting and daunting, but fear not! In this article, we will unravel the best criteria and guidance for Muslims seeking to find their ideal Muslim match in the light of Quran and Hadith. Whether you’re a devout follower of Islam or simply curious about the tips, understanding the principles and practices of finding a spouse in Islam will provide valuable insight into this sacred endeavor.
As we delve into this topic, we’ll explore the significance of compatibility, character, and faith of the spouse in Islamic marriage. So grab your cup of tea and get ready to unlock the secrets behind finding a spouse in Islam – it’s a journey that promises depth, spirituality, and ultimately, love.
Philosophy of Marriage in Islam
In Islam, the philosophy of marriage goes beyond a mere union between two individuals. It is viewed as a sacred bond that embodies love, compassion, and mutual respect. The Quran emphasizes the importance of marriage as a means for finding tranquility and companionship. Allah says in Quran:
“And of His signs is that He created for you mates from your own selves that you may take comfort in them, and He ordained affection and mercy between you.” (Qur’an; 30:21)
How to Find a Spouse in Islam
Prayer to Find a Spouse
The are many duas mentioned in Quran and Hadith. One famous dua for finding a spouse is mentioned in Quran is followed one:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
May our Lord bless us with spouses and children who bring joy to our eyes and make us a model for the righteous.
Women to whom Marriage is Prohibited
In Quran Allah Almighty sets the boundaries for Muslims to marry with their match in details. It is mentioned that you are not allowed to marry: your mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts from both sides of your family, nieces, foster mothers or sisters who breastfed you, mothers of your wives, stepdaughters under your care but not born from your own wives, daughters-in-law who are born from your own loins, and two sisters at the same time.
Inter Caste Marriage
The Qur’an emphasizes the elimination of ignorance and unjust biases that existed before Islam. The creation of social classes is a result of human actions. What truly matters is an individual’s faith and adherence to Islamic principles. It is irrelevant whether a person comes from a different country, social group, or has a different skin color. When choosing partners for marriage, we should seek guidance from Quran and Sunnah
Characteristics of a Good Woman to Marry
In Islam, the emphasis is not solely on physical appearance or material wealth, but rather on qualities such as piety, honesty, kindness, and good character. There are clear guidelines regarding; how to find a wife in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised believers to prioritize religious commitment and moral integrity when seeking a partner. Quranic verses on finding a wife, describes the best selection criteria for the ideal woman to marry.
By understanding these tips, anyone can learn how to find a Muslim wife.
Marry those of you who are single, whether they are men or women, and also those among your male and female slaves who are righteous. If they happen to be in need, Allah will provide for them from His abundance. Allah is All-Encompassing in knowledge and boundless in resources. [Surah Noor:32]
1. Looking for Single Women
Looking for a single woman is mandated in Islam. In Quranic terminology, single means virgin, widow and divorced. Virgins are preferable, according to scholars, when given the choice between marrying a virgin or a previously married woman of equal righteousness and piety. Although widow and divorced are also rewarding in Islam.
2. Choosing the Right Spouse
This highlights the vital importance of selecting a spouse who will contribute positively to one’s personal growth and ultimately help in achieving success in both this life and the Hereafter. Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
Choose carefully for your seed, for verily women give birth to children resembling their brothers and sisters.
3. Marry a Woman for 4 Things
Islam offers clear guidelines, for a man who finds a wife, emphasizing religious well-being. Additionally, Islam encourages men to seek compatibility in terms of faith, character, and values when considering a life partner. Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
Marry a woman for 4 things; her wealth, family status, beauty, and religious commitment. Therefore, it is advisable to marry a woman who is religious; otherwise, you will be at a disadvantage. (Sahih al-Bukhari 5090)
4. Poverty of Spouse is Ignored
It does not mean wealth has no value in relationships. There is huge importance of piety in Islam. It means, if spouse fulfills the above criteria, then poverty could be ignored. It is mentioned in Quran and many hadith that if you marry in poor state, Allah will enrich you with wealth. So, we should focus on religion, wealth is a supplementary factor in marriage.
5. Marry a Woman who can Bear a Child
When considering marriage to a woman who can bear children, it’s important to recognize the profound impact she will have on shaping the future. Choosing a partner who can bear children means embracing the responsibility of nurturing and guiding future generations, shaping their character and values. This unique role requires not only physical ability but also emotional maturity, patience, and empathy—a potent combination that can influence generations to come.
Someone approached Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and asked whether it was advisable for me to marry a woman who came from a good linage and was attractive but unable to bear a child. The Prophet advised against it, even when asked a second and third time. Finally, he recommended: “marrying a woman who is loving and child bearer, for I will be proud of you in the large numbers of descendants on the Day of Judgment. [Sahih Ibn Hibban: 4056-4057]
6. Importance of Faith while Selecting a Woman
Another hadith regarding selecting a woman emphasizes a man to choose a woman of religious compatibility. Prophet (peace be upon him) said, he who finds a wife should prefer religious devotion of a woman over beauty and wealth.
Abdullah bin Amr reported that the Prophet advised against marrying women solely for their beauty or wealth, as these traits could lead to their downfall. Instead, he recommended marrying women for their religious devotion. The Prophet also emphasized that a religious black slave woman with piercings is preferable to one who lacks faith. [Sunan Ibn Majah 1859]
7. Marrying a Divorced Woman
According to scholars, when given the choice between marrying a virgin or a previously married woman of equal righteousness and piety, it is recommended to choose the virgin. This recommendation is based on hadith reported by Jabir ibn Abdullah, who recounted that when he married a divorced woman and went to the Prophet (peace be upon him), he was asked why he didn’t marry a young girl so that they could play together. Jabir explained that his father had passed away, leaving behind seven or nine daughters, so he had married someone who could care for them. The Prophet then supplicated for him. [At-Tirmidhi]
However, anyone who marries a divorced woman, will receive a high reward as it is mentioned in hadith:
“Caring for a widow and a poor person is akin to being a champion for Allah’s cause, or like someone who fasts during the day and prays throughout the night”
You can also read Islamic guidelines regarding divorce.
Characteristics of a Good Man to Marry
Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) guide on how to find a spouse in Islam. We have discussed the characteristics of a potential wife in the first part of this article. Now we are discussing characteristics of a potential husband.
1. Ability to Afford Marriage
Abdullah (b. Mas’ud) (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised us, saying: O young men, whoever can afford to marry should do so, as it helps to lower the gaze and protects one from immoral behavior. But whoever is unable to marry should fast, as it helps to control one’s sexual desires. [Sahih al-Bukhari 5065]
In above mentioned hadith affordability is explained by Imam Ibn e Qayyam and Ibn e Tymiyah respectively:
Ability to afford expenses of marriage and spending on wife.
Ability to have intercourse.
2. Man of Good Character
When it comes to selecting a life partner, the importance of good character cannot be understated. A husband with a strong moral compass and integrity is crucial for building a healthy and stable relationship. Good character encompasses qualities such as honesty, kindness, respect, and empathy, which are essential for fostering trust and understanding within a marriage. Without these foundational traits, conflicts can become more challenging to navigate, leading to tension and discord in the relationship. Prophet (peace be upon him said:
I promise a man a home in the highest part of Paradise if he has cultivated a virtuous character.
3. Fear Allah and Be Respectful
A potential husband’s fear of Allah and his ability to demonstrate respect are foundational qualities that can greatly impact a successful marriage. This fear of Allah serves as a reminder for him to always treat his wife with dignity and honor, understanding that she is also a creation of the same Creator he fears. It is mentioned in a hadith (Muslim:1218).
Fear Allah for the responsibility towards women, as you entered into marriage with them under the trust of God, and intimacy was permitted by His decree. Therefore, it is their right that you provide them with proper food and clothing.
4. Just and Kind in Manner
When a man truly fears Allah, he is guided by principles of kindness, and justice in his interactions with others, particularly his future spouse. He is guided to treat his wife with kindness and justice. Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
The woman has the right to be provided for by her husband in the same manner as he provides for himself, including food and clothing. He should also refrain from physically or verbally mistreating her, and if necessary, any disagreements should be resolved within their shared household.
In conclusion, finding a spouse in Islam is a significant step in one’s life, and it is important to approach the process with patience, sincerity, and reliance on Allah. By seeking guidance from the Quran and Sunnah, a man can be able to understand, how to find a spouse in Islam. It is crucial to prioritize qualities such as piety, character, and compatibility over superficial factors when considering potential spouses. Additionally, maintaining open communication with family members and trusted mentors can provide valuable support and advice throughout the search for a spouse. Ultimately, with dua, trust in Allah’s plan and dedication to upholding Islamic values, individuals can navigate the journey of finding a spouse with faith and optimism.